For "TÊTE-À-TÊTE" and her soulful post

When we started to get to know each other, we used to stay on the phone for hours and not realizing what time it is, day or night….

When we started to get to know each other, phone was our best friend; the kind, loyal, trustworthy, keep it all to itself and warm third party that was connecting us no matter where we were and what was happening in the world around us….

I fell in love with the phone and he used to say – almost in every conversation- that how much he salutes Mr. Graham Bell!

Then the era of totally different time zones came along…and fax became as good a friend as the phone (yes, yes…. I am from Dinosaur era when emails was started to be just an item in conversations!)…fax became even better than the phone considering the heavy burden of the phone bills…and sweeter than that was the letters and the cards that we would send to one another….fax became the method for the daily reports and letters carried the luxury of deep conversations…. Pages and pages of handwritten letters….the papers that was bringing the touch of the lover…the perfume of his soul!

It was very obvious from the beginning that I am the writer in this relationship but in all honesty, for every letter or fax that I sent, he did send one immediately in return….so many times he was the one that would send a card not in reply to mine but just because… The tone of our writings was always different. I was what he calls “the deep, soulful” writer and he was what I call “fun, silly” one!

While I used to nag that why he is so silly in his writings and why can’t he go “deeper”, I came to cherish and be unbelievably dependent to the lightness of his being, such an amazing compliment to my unbearable heaviness…..

I brought him to the world of Prophet and he took me to the world of simplicity.
I talked about all that I knew in the books and he shared with me what life is really all about.
I played for him the voice of Charles Aznavour (the frequent background voice while I was growing up) and he played for me the sweet melody of silence.
The same silence that always used to make me nervous and anxious became an ocean of wonder and peace IF it was shared with him….

By chance I heard a song: “Is Your Love Strong Enough?" by Bryan Ferry (not a type of music that I liked or ever listened to) and for a while I used to whisper some of its verses for myself:

Just one step at a time
And closer to destiny
I knew at a glance
There’d always be a chance for me
With someone I could live for

Is your love strong enough

Like a rock in the sea?

The agony of all the physical distances between us was one of the most difficult things I ever went through in my life. It was taking all my energy, all my existence...it was eating my soul…and being such an unfair person by nature, I took it all on him. The bitterness in my voice, the anger in my writings…he was always my punching bag…the sadness now for me is that I think he also took all the blame on himself; while in all honesty there was no one to blame. That was life… that was the road that we had to go through, it was not right or wrong, correct or mistake, IT just WAS!

Years passed…I grew up so much and gained certain level of maturity and still remained as “heavy” as a lead!
His gained maturity did not touch his childish soul at all and God knows how thankful I am for this.

Life went on…the daily routine of life happened, the one that can consume you beyond belief, the one that can make your life passes by years after years and one day you open your eyes and realize you did NOT do ANYTHING and yet you DID SO MUCH!

Phone is no longer a necessity to connect us but I think both of us still reserved a soft spot in our hearts for this device.
We once in a while write letters for each other and cards are now mostly for special occasions…he leaves me quick notes here and there, one of those “post it” yellow, pink, green little squares, with funny words and smiley faces…and he does not know this but I keep every single one of them as if they are my most cherished possessions in life.

Now we do not need to talk via a device. We talk all the time…or shall I say most of the time I am the one that talks and he is the one that listens and comments here and there, and interestingly his comments are always deeper than life and more soulful than love itself…and there are those times that I fume over the fact that why he is not “talking more deeply and lengthily” and he laughs and jokes and makes funny faces and I remember what a blessing it is to have such a beautiful, innocent “depth” in being…

After the little boss came, my solo trips for my job are rare commodity. But he goes to business trips frequently and we find each other in different time zones once again…no time for lengthily chats and still those quick moments of conversations are what we enjoy so much…whether it is through quick frequent phone calls, emails- not more than a line or two- or constant text massages just to say where we are and what is happening with the life around us….

Life goes on, love changes…

I have a personality like a rock, changes do not come that easily to my doorsteps. If 20 years ago someone would have told me that “love changes”, I would have imagined that “it will be the end of my life as I know it”…today I think “life goes on, love changes and that is the most beautiful thing in the universe”…If this love is the one that “they” call it a “true love” then I have to say: any change is welcome as it only makes it more and more beautiful…It just might makes us go through HELL to cherish the result!