A Note: Words run away from me every time that I want to express myself. Words are no longer my friends in any languages that I know. I am still very much drowned in my memories and feelings. Sometimes very afraid to open any window to the daily routine of life....and yet daily routine of life continues and I go through the acts and carry the fear, panic and anxieties...carry the exhaustion and fatigue…carry the hidden tears and silenced screams...But I ALSO CARRY THE LOVE, THE NEVER ENDING LOVE...and that will bring me out of this cave...one day...one day....
Until that day (may it be in very near future or in very distant one), this is for you my peaceful boss...You also like me are in search of your peacefulness after those traumatic weeks...
You have no idea how much mamma loves you
Somewhere i have never travelled
By E. E. Cummings
Somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
10 comments:
My dear friend mommy homeopath,
First of all: Happy new year! I wish you a great year ahead of you filled with happiness, joy, health and success. And I hope that you and your small family will taste very sweet moments in this year.
Secondly, I am glad to see you here again! It's actually a good sign...
I hope he is fine now and you all feel happier...
I still pray for him and you.
Be good and happy.
Dear Parinaz,
Thank you for your kind words and for visitng me....still:)
Happy New Year to you my dear.
Happy new spring to all of us. May it brings "spring" to all of our hearts.
continue praying my friend, Please do...
Happy New Year AGAIN.Happy to see you out again.
Fire
dear Mommy Homeopath,
Happy Spring and New year to you and your lovely family.
I have been going trough very rough time. So difficult a time that I wonder how i am still alive... how we survive so much pain... BUT in this very sad time of my life, you are one of the very few people (apart from my family) that I have been thinking about. Because I KNOW what you have been through and I know how you must be feeling now. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.and I know the crazy hormones do not help at all but hang in there my friend, let that magical one year of post traumatic stress after what you and your family have been through and not to mention the wild hormones pass... I wish there was something more I could do but I can only say I know how it feels my friend, things will be Ok soon and as Leonard Cohen says "there is a crack in everything and that's how the light gets in". the light IS there in your soul...
you must be sleep deprived and exhausted both physically and emotionally but God, imagine the love one has for her little one, doubled! that must be something! (the masochism of motherhood!)
How is the little boss? How is the peaceful boss? and most important of all: how are you?
all of you are in my prayers.
Warm crushing hugs
Hey Mommy homeopath. U havent clearly told us how ur little boss is doing. Is he completely out of danger or not ?I hope the worst has passed. plz do tell. Best wishes .
Hi Deep blue see,
Thanks for visiting again.
I think you mean "Peaceful boss"...Little boss is my older one- 2.5 years old. The peaceful boss- which these days he is not very peaceful at all- is the one that went through that whole ordeal.
He is clear from the respiratory problems. But still needs to catch up on the weight gain. He developed Acid reflux. Which is heartburn…That causes lots of pain for him when he has his feedings...and causes a lots of pain and exhaustion for me as the feedings are small quantity and very very frequent...
Thank you for asking
My dear Fire,
Thank you my dear dear friend. I hope the new year brings lots of happiness for you
Miss you so much
My dear sweet آدم گلابی
I am SO SORRY to hear that you are going through such a sad time. I wish I could do something in return for you dear soul. I will keep you in my payers ALWAYS...ALWAYS....
I replied to your last comment in the other post but I am not sure you read it or not.
He is recovering, gaining weight slowly. Peaceful boss goes through acid reflux these days- which probably you know is heartburn- so feeding can be painful for him….and time consuming for me as the feedings should be in smaller quantity and more frequent.
I truly believe that he also needs to gain his “peacefulness” back after the ordeal that he had. I think he is going through the recovery as well not related to his physical aspects (which in my belief is the easy part for any individual) but his spirit and emotions.
I am not doing so well my friend. I don't need to tell you what I do mean by this sentence. Words can not describe the flood of emotions that comes very frequently to my heart and body...I am waiting for "time” to do its magic and I liked your very realistic sentence about ONE YEAR post traumatic recovery....unfortunalty that sentence came from an experienced one…I wish neither you or I had this experience. I feel we were robbed from the experience of first few months of our babies life. Do you know what I mean?
I will try to write a post with more detail...
Please take care of yourself. One does not need to know the nature of your hardship, to hear it in the lines that you wrote for me. I am thinking of you...
Big hug
My dear mommy homeopath,
Yes dear...carry the love in you and the love will be your savior.
I LOVED the poem. NO NEED for more words until you are ready (We will wait). And the poem told us everything for now.
I am thinking of you and praying for you and the whole family.
Please take care of yourself.
A reader
Dear Mommy Homeopath,
What a beutiful poem. It said EVERYTHING that you could not say for now.
I am thinking of all of you and especially of you.
You are in my prayers. Whenever you can, write to us. No rush. A reader said it beutifully: We are here.
Lots of good energy
Eve
Post a Comment