Lately...

Babies....

They are like little old souls despite their awkward way of holding head and their half smiles, and their lack of motor control and almost total absence of articulation...not counting the screams of course!

It seems like a lifetime ago that I looked into his eyes, smelled his hair, kissed every inch of his body and wondered how he was going to be like when he will be older...

But lately not a day goes by that I'm not clenching every muscles in my body and trying to hold back a rising flood of voice:

"Don't touch that. Please put that down. Be gentle, be very gentle my love. How about sitting still for a minute? You need to eat more, maybe one more bite?! OH NO!!! that Block is not for eating. Don't put that thing in your ear. How about not chewing on a paper? Don’t open your diaper please. I just made sure it is in its proper place. OH GOD! Be careful when you run. We look ahead when we walk. Don’t walk backward. You are going to hit the wall sweetie. Did you ask daddy’s permission before touching his cell phone? Mamma’s computer is not for you…and while we are at it, for sure garbage is not for touching. Hello there Mr., is that the letter “S” from your daddy’s keyboard? How did that happen? OK, it is time for TIME OUT!"

....And he just looks at me and gives a nutty smile and then pretend he does not hear me… or in the best scenario either he runs to the other direction faster than before or turns his adorable face and says “Who did this?” and then he wants me to “play” this game of “who did this?” and call all his stuffed animal friends and ask THEM who did this?…or just bring his finger up and says: “NO, NO, NO” and then laughs and runs!!!

Every night I just go through how many times I said:

DON'T DO THAT!

YOU MUST BE GENTLE!

NO! NO! NO!

STOP THAT NOW!

BE VERY CAREFUL!

THAT IS NOT A TOY!

TIME OUT!

And I lost count….and then I am filled with love, regret, guilt and LOST!

I read all these books, the ones that are suppose to be “THE BIBLES” for toddlers' behavior and their challenges…the ones that recommend this type of talk and that type of discipline…the ones that talk about “Terrible Two” and that it is not a myth and it might even starts from 12-14 months old…and at the end I realize most of them says nothing practical…

I mean it is in toddler’s nature to be curious and unpredictable and free…it is in their nature to just be attracted to ALL THE DANGERS…and I am not kidding about it.

What ever is a BIG NO, my little guy just loves it. We can enter a room and he can just pick all the danger spots for us within one minute….

The better half and I thought we were such a smart people when we paid an expert to come and go through our house up and down and let us know where we need baby proofing…and then we thought what an amazing investment it was to pay so much and do all that recommendations….and of course it brought down the element of danger - that's for sure, I am not denying it….but OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! Leave it to my little boss to make a danger out of a simple walk!!!!

I am not kidding at all when I tell you that my son already knows the homeopathic remedy, "Arnica" - both the cream and the granules- so well....he even calls for it "Atia"!

I've heard it a million times: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."….Not that I do not agree with it, but in order to “prevent” a toddler, how many times a mother has to say “NOOOOOOOO” and how often the voice just goes one or two or even three volume up???

And then the cycle continues…the nightly guilt of: “What a bad mother I am?! Is there a magic way that I do not know about? I bet there is another way! I bet I am just not good enough!”