“Was it a chicken first or an egg?”

I am the type of person that when tired, I look as bad as I feel. I was passing a mirror and just happened to glance at it and “WOW! I REALLY do look shi…y”.

To accomplish anything these days seems impossible. I wonder where the energy did come from? Where has it gone- if there was any there to begin with?

There are so many things I don't want to do. Never cared to do… And yet these are the things that make us feel a part of the daily routine of life: planting the garden, cleaning out the crap and starting fresh…; all things that give us purpose and satisfaction.

Someone told me once: “In expending energy, we get energy in return”. Do we really? These days I don’t seem to feel anything but exhaustion, maybe because I am not “expending” any energy…But if I may ask dear universe: “Was it a chicken first or an egg?” – I mean shall I first get the energy from somewhere and then try to expend it…or…? No there is no “or”…It seems I don’t have ANY to start expending!!!

Most of the time these days, all I want to do is sleep, even if I rarely do. I mean I can not sleep a lot…that is not my nature, not in the gene pool…and yet I still want to. It is really a paradox on its own. I just want to crawl back under the covers and close my eyes….even if the sweet state of sleep does not come.

I am starting to think the life that we created in this first world countries, with all the advance technology and all the high and mighty things, is nothing but a rat race...

Oh STOP IT!…I became one of those people…the ones that complain all the time.

That is really embarrassing. Because after all what is it to complain?!!!!!!!!!!
One has to just look around to all the disasters (majors or minors) that is happening right at this moment in the world (or no need to go too far, we can just choose to look at all the pains that probably exist in our neighborhood!) and then realize that if we choose to do anything less than being thankful, it is highly disrespecful to whom ever or whatever we believe in...

So I better "suck it up" and just move away from the "mirror, mirror on the wall"!