To love or to hate?!

Momma was sad in last few days. I am struggling very hard with the thought of how to teach you angels to be in love with our very beautiful ugly world.

So many times the ugliness can prevent any positive emotion toward the world that we live in and yet they are so many people that are in love with this world and when you ask them about it, they describe the world that they see through their rosy glasses...it is their version of the world, their reality which does not include the ugliness…

They say ignorance is bliss…that maybe so, but one can argue that ignorance can be a crime of conscious!

We live in a beautiful ugly world…what a paradox! Just like life itself.

While I am typing these words, think about how many war is going on simultaneously between different countries and nations; how many genocides are happening; how many children are dying from hunger; how many people are suffering from lack of freedom in all its shapes and forms; how many people are suffering from fast spreading diseases that one can argue being man made or not; how many little girls being sold for prostitution; how many fathers have to sell their kidneys so that they can use the money for their sick children; how many mothers have to travel across the world and be nanny to other people’s children in order to put food on their own children’s table; how many little girls have to be sold in very young age to marry to much older men in order to become slave to them in every means…

Watching a documentary about women in pre and post invasion in Afghanistan brought me into the state of uncontrollable sobbing and tears. Your daddy first tried very hard to calm me down and joke about all the pregnancy hormones but very soon he just looked at the TV screen with a sad look on his face and shook his head constantly.

With all these sadness, I still want you to never hate the world that we live in.

The act of “Loving”, on its own, whether it is in the shape of Eros, Philia or Agape, is one of the most beautiful scenes of our world….Just that alone, worth living…trust me!

Both time when I got pregnant, so many people told me how courageous I am for choosing to bring new lives in this world. I am not sure how much of it is the matter of courage and how much is the matter of hope.

I believe I am hopeful…Hopeful that new lives, the babies that are coming to this world, will one day make a change.

For you my son: I hope with all my heart that you become a man that respects women from all ages and backgrounds. I wish you become a man realizing that women are precious, unique and honorable. They are different from men but equal to them…after all we are all belonging to human race. I hope you become a man that doesn't hesitate to cry when it is needed and doesn't hesitate to show his love and compassion….and at the same time I hope you be courageous enough to confront evil with knowledge, wisdom and a strength that comes from humility.

And for you, my baby on your way: I am not sure you will be a boy or a girl. Either one of them is precious beyond words. I hope you become a human being that respects all beings from all backgrounds, to love life and to be a compassionate and honest adult.

And for both of you: I hope you not only become tolerant toward differences but cherish them in life…I hope you become adults that try to change our world toward more compassionate and loving place. Even if what you do will be some small tiny steps, it will be so priceless.

When my time comes to leave you, I will have such a peaceful moment if I realize that I helped you in any way in becoming kind, compassionate, considerate and honest human beings. What an easy sweet last breath that will be!