Life can be a cruel joke sometimes…only nobody is laughing!

One of my closest friends is going through her second adoption process with her husband. At the moment they are at the final stage of their process…the final leg of the journey so to say and they finally received a hopeful and good news last week.

But I have to say, the whole thing is a very excruciating ordeal. There is an obstacle after an obstacle, one heartache after another, one uncertainty after another…and one day you realize that the process took longer than an elephant’s pregnancy (22 months).

While I totally understand the tough process for the adoption considering all the child trafficking and child abuse in our world, still my heart goes to people like my friends. My heart aches with them as I go through the ups and downs every time, as every time my friend calls me in tears of agony or in tears of hope….and the only thing I can do is to pray…pray and pray and pray hard….

I pray for her to get her child in her arms very soon. I pray for myself to be worthy of motherhood and I pray for all of my other friends to be able to become happy with their choices….

I am in a very surrealistic situation at the moment. I am “swimming” in a number of pregnancies in my daily life. I was talking to one of the expectant mothers today and telling her the heart aching story of my dear friend.

As I was telling her all the not so entertaining stories, I happened to mention that we do not appreciate enough how lucky we are to be blessed with our babies this way (through our own pregnancies I meant). She responded: “Are you sure? I mean I myself am truly scared of all the loss of freedom and the responsibilities that comes at the end of my pregnancy”…

I mean don’t get me wrong. The whole process of pregnancy is nothing short of a miracle:
Such a slim chance for a Sperm to meet an Oocyte at the right time at the right place – after all this is one thing in life that REALLY “timing” is EVERYTHING for it…..and if you really think about the physiology of the whole nine yard, you realize that almost everything in the “environment” is against this “happy union”:):)

And then the hard work begins!!!
The “little one”- truly little one- starts his/ her journey down to the correct destination which is uterus and no other place (otherwise there will be the misfortune of ectopic preganncy)…. then starts to “hang in there” – quite literally!

And then goes all the “what if” and “Oh my God” and “please, please, please…”….and lets not forget about all the obstacles and glorious pains and aches of the nine months….and then finally the labor which is truly a dangerous path for mother and child….

All these in mind still I believe that we are really blessed…and I also think that my expectant friend’s remarks was also a valid issue for lots of women….they are especially the issues of the first time mothers….

But unusual for my personality – almost always, I come back with a response very quickly!!!! - I went little dumb at that moment. What could one respond? “Well honey, it is little too late now for these thoughts?!!!!” “Didn’t you know these things are not returnable even with your receipt?!!!”

I am a type of person that think EVERY THOUGHT and ALL THE ANXIETIES AND FEARS are valid. There are reasons for them in our psyche….some are obvious to see and some are buried very deep. They have roots in something and as long as those roots do exist, the thought, anxiety and fear are just a second layer of the issues.

So I am not going to say that these thoughts are not valid. But for a moment I thought of my friend, the one that is going through so much, and very soon will travel literally to a place that can be considered “the end of the world” (!), to be able to get her child….and then I thought “she would have given her right arm for a chance to become pregnant”….

Life can be a cruel joke sometimes…only nobody is laughing!