And soooo fast…
I have such an ambivalent relationship with “time”….I am sure it will be the topic of many more enteries in this blog.
But since I became a mother I HATE its pace. I just want to freeze every single second that I have with my son and make it last for eternity. I am REALLY serious about this. I don't mind even going through many more labors if that means all can start from the first second over and over and over again...When I say this, my mother think I am absolutly out of my mind (she was in my labor room and remmbers every second of "its" pain...I on the other hand remmber how amazing it was. I do remmber every second of it too but for some reason I just love all of them and especially the minute that the doctor put my naked baby boy on my body....)
One minute mashes into another and before you blink your eyes, your baby that just came out of your warm body has gone from “goo goo, ga ga” and "adda, atta" to a full sentence and I guess then off to college…
I feel it was yesterday that I was having his warm body next to mine and looking at those adorable little toes and that gorgeous wrinkly face and thinking:
Very soon he will have his full eyebrows and eye lashes
Very soon he will hold his head
Very soon he will smile
Very soon his toothless grin will be gone…will be full of pearls
Very soon it is time to start solid
Very soon we move from mesh to “real food”
Very soon it is time to sleep in the crib... no more in our bed
Very soon those chubby feet that I can kiss for eternity will hold his weight and off to go…we are toddling
My baby is not a newborn, my baby is not even a baby, and the correct term now is a toddler as he is 18 months old and running...
But for me, he is my baby, he will always be MY BABY - emphasize on both “my” and “baby”:)
Like every mother I worry for arrival of milestones on time…
Gushed over “roll over”, giggled with his “laughter”, clapped for him “sitting unsupported”, made the loudest sound of cheer when he said his first clear word: “Mamma”, checked for his “teeth”, went mooshed with his “crawling”, tried not to be so scared with him “standing” himself and hold my breath with his first steps of “walking”….
I was happy for arrival of each and every milestone…I was sad with arrival of each and every milestone…
I think you can only feel the intensity of this tog of war if you are a mother…
That joy and pride for your baby for moving forward and his achivment....that enormous sadness that you are leaving the dearest moments of your life in the trust of a memory box….either the box in your mind and heart or the box in the closet.....
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