What day is it today?

I woke up today with my son’s voice calling my name to pay attention to all the members of his vocabulary repertoire!

I looked at the clock and thought: “He woke up earlier than he should and that means the rest of the morning will be a tough one starting from 10:30 am….he will be tired and whinny….will not be satisfied with anything and poor thing even he won’t know what he wants”.

Still I was in a very foggy daze.

Lately my sleep pattern is worse than before and the responsibility…well the responsibility is on the bad dreams. I have all the crazy, scary, running away to no where land, having the worst argument of your life with your loved ones with no end, witness terrible horror- kind of dreams. No idea why…I mean the reason must be very well hidden deep in my psyche and I do not have any time or energy for going down that rabbit hole.

So I wake up many many times during the night and eventually in one of the times that my son calls to have water or just to see me and then go to sleep…I go to his room and end up falling asleep on his floor. Some how sleeping closer to him while I had such a terrible dream, feels more reassuring... You see how the role is reversed already.

Obviously the result of the night sleep is a failure because I wake up with a body more tired and a mind more numb than the pervious night….

So back to the story... the little nightingale's voice sang to his mamma that was sleeping in a fetal position on his bedroom floor. He wanted to play our usual word game…this is this and that is that and the rest of the hoopla with voice up and down…

I stood up, engaged in the game while in my mind I was in a dream of some sort. So In that dream phase I started the daily routine….and then I passed our bedroom window and saw the garbage and recycle bins (all the colors of blue, green and the rest) in a row in front of the neighbor’s house…"Oh my God, Tomorrow must be some sort of a holiday that we are unaware of and this is why today is the pick up day", I thought to myself….

I ran to the bathroom and called for my husband that was under the shower and was getting one step closer to go to his work land...I, in an excitement, telling him that it must be a mistake and I haven’t prepared every things and did not do my end yet… is tomorrow a holiday? – You see the job description is that I gather things and put them behind the door and he will carry them outside - …

My hubby looking at me with a stunning face from behind the shower curtain: “what do you mean? I am not following you”…and I reply in my hyperventilating / excited voice: “Well Friday must be some kind of a holiday that we don’t know about. Because everyone prepared their garbage today”….

He now replies in his wise, know it all voice: “Well since today IS the Friday, I think everyone did a good job!”…And now it is my term to have a shocking voice: “TODAY IS FRIDAY….WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT IS THURSDAY?”

I was really serious. I thought- all through the week I have to add- that I am living the previous day. My poor body had a bad reaction to this unexpected discovery. There was this heaviness in the arms and legs, major numbness in my solar plexus and start of a nagging headache…and all these sensations got worse by time...

Because let’s face it with all this “time” business that we, the almighty human being invented, we entered ourselves in some kind of a rat race…and what happens when a sleep deprived being like me, get it all wrong?

I did everything this week with one day delay. Thank God I did not have a major appointment.

During the day – which as I predicted correctly, became one of the chaotic days for this week- I, in the back of my mind somewhere, was thinking about why did I made such a mistake?

As I told you in another entry, “time” and I have an ambivalent relationship and I really have to dedicate one entry totally to it. But even I do not get a day wrong and continue to do so for the entire week.

In some kind of a psycho analyze thing, was I trying to avoid the prospect of my very busy weekend?

Most of the weekends I am extremely busy especially that I see patients in my clinic during the weekends and that adds to the whole routine of life…and since those are the only time I see patients since I became a mother, I have even more than usual busy clinic days when I do book patients.

Or was I simply trying to hold on to the minutes and hours and do not allow them to pass quickly?

You see the other option is that I am loosing my mind…which in my professional mother, wife, daughter, homeopath and woman opinion that sounds closer to the reality!